My response to “Women are Crazy (The way to lose your female readers)”

In response to:
“Women are Crazy (The way to lose your female readers)” a blog by Opinionated Man.

http://aopinionatedman.com/2015/03/12/women-are-crazy-the-way-to-lose-your-female-readers/

I’ve been following Opinionated Man (OM) for a while now, and I have to say when I first came across this guy on wordpress, I was intrigued by his “About” tagline : “My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words”… I followed with open mind and have thus far been challenged to think and made to laugh, but never offended. I appreciate his writing which is raw in the uttmost sense of the word, perhaps not filtering to be “PC” or edited to be “accepted” to the standard of society. That’s why I like and respect this blogger.

So when I read the above article title, I thought ah-ha an outward admittance to offending my gender!, this should be good. I ended up giggling and smirking, while being entertained at this take. In humour and good jest, I chose to write a response. While OM doesn’t know me personally, I hope he takes this in the good nature in which it was intended. As I’ve only written response in humour once before, but I was fortunate that the person knew me personally.

Where OM states women “pick arguments” on purpose, I wouldn’t call what we do intentional. When we become linked to a male, we don’t automatically take on their views or opinions. The days of women being seen and not heard are over my friend, and this pretty little head has a view of her own and will certainly share as much. We’re not testing, we’re not looking to “fix” something that’s broke necessarily; we are looking to communicate. Now maybe the timing of the argument… Well… Admittedly, that could be the test portion. We are way more important than Sportscenter, just sayin’! *grins sheepishly* Admittance is the first step, right? Do we pick arguments? Perhaps not… Do we test? Most likely…

As for asking questions we already know the answer to… Can’t a girl make sure she’s on the same page as her partner? Again, communication, this is a form of it! You repeat back information you already know, in the form of a question, to make sure both parties are of an understanding. As a woman, I understand things/see things differently; I’ve learned in my life never to assume someone else (especially of opposite gender) thinks the same way that I do… Now, unless you’re talking about questions that catch our counterparts in a lie or fib; this is giving men a chance to come clean about a possible deception… Admittedly again, test… But a worthy test. Or if it’s just something we’re asking you to maybe repeat (ie. Lie, smart ass remark, etc) , admittedly yes, another test, but we’re likely seeing if you have the balls to repeat it.

OM moves on further to say that the only input women are looking for in a dialogue is “you’re absolutely right honey”; this tells me that OM is most likely married and has been here before. This doesn’t mean we do not care about your opinion or input on a topic (although admittedly it would make life easier if it were the same as ours… happy wife=happy life, right?).. I find with men possessing the stubbornness that they do, they are also difficult to sway from a decision they have already made. They are also likely to tune us out to Sportscenter if we are on a topic they have no remote interest in… But then again, it’s probably when we timed it, wasn’t it? For shame on us! LOL I’m taking your occassional grunts (that you made while tuning me out, or the head nod) as acceptance for the living room redecorating I was just talking about! Note: Women, I’ve just had an epiphany, timing is everything! Thank you OM for pointing out unwillingness to argue/debate during Sportscenter. Men, beware of this trick, your laziness or lack of interest is enabling! 😉

In his final point, I would say this is a no brainer. Of course you shouldn’t side with someone that is making life difficult for your partner. Should a woman come to you with her social or work related drama, she’s looking for you to listen and support her. She is not looking for you to fix it, or offer sympathy to a party that is wronging her. I don’t think this makes her crazy, wanting support from her man. We support you. I’m sure at some point we’ve feigned optimism as you’ve driven somewhere “taking a detour”, instead of pleading with you to stop to ask for directions… Or that we’ve brought you a beer and smiled while you spend hours assembling that entertainment unit, without the instructions, that we’ve placed plainly in your view. Maybe this is where we are crazy? But no, we are calling this supportive 😉

In closing, where men love the aforementioned old adage “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.. Is this saying that if you continue to do nothing that your communication/relationship with your woman will grow/continue to get better? I know you admitted men can be lazy, but is this the way to go? Because I’d like to retort with Einstein’s definition of insanity : “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”. Who’s crazy now?

Thanks OM for the good read. As said, I hope this is taken in the nature in which it was intended. I like to poke fun at times. Cheers, waitingforprincecharming

~Still learning….

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When you know, you know

When you know, you know…. Or maybe you didn’t know yet, because circumstance couldn’t allow such knowledge….. or hell, maybe someone else knew…
As we approach Valentine’s Day, which is albeit, an overly commercialized day, but the intent is the celebration of love; I choose to share with my readers….I’m no longer “Waiting”…. Give that a minute… Think of my blog title… There we go, “ah-ha moment”, I’ve subtly brought you up to speed… I was trying to build suspense there! 😉 .. I’m no longer waiting for my prince charming, and despite some ill timing and challenges that the future will hold, I couldn’t be happier….

Now people, please know, when I created this blog and coined the term “Prince Charming”, I by no means searched or waited for perfection or royalty or wealth, or anything else for that matter that would be associated as “princely”..But I was waiting for my match; I was waiting for imperfections I could love perfectly, and someone that would do the same for me in return… I think he may have even read “To whom it may concern…”…

Prince Charming didn’t come riding in on noble steed and sweep me off of my feet, to ride off into the sunset together…. Nor was he even a viable option for romantic interest that was considered and pursued…. He was a surprise…As I’m sure I was to him….

My very best and dearest male friend, had a relationship end, and some other life changing events happen last summer…And as a support, I spent many hours talking, speculating, and trying to help him solve out some things as a sounding board to vent to.. We spoke endlessly; there were words, there were tears, there were hugs, there was consoling, and there was comfort… There was a vulnerability that made our friendship deeper….

“Uh – oh “ , you’re thinking… But no, I wasn’t poaching my best friend nor taking advantage of a situation. Nor was he transferring/projecting anything onto me during any of this. If anything was developing, I (and most likely he) was oblivious to it… At the time anyhow… And for someone who is painfully self aware, it’s funny that these emotions developed without me having a clue. Perhaps it wasn’t necessarily not having a clue, but more of a set boundary: he’s my best friend, of course I care. “It’s only him”….

Not everyone was as oblivious though….

My very astute and observant mother brought things to light…Where some may describe my mother as pushy or loud (and yes, Mother, I know you’re reading this… I’m sorry, but it’s true); I see her as straightforward and honest… She will tell you truth, whether you want to hear it or not… And sometimes without necessarily thinking about what the affect or outcome that truth may have..But that’s Mom… I’ve known her my whole life, and I’m used to this about her… And now, so are others…

Mom and I were out for a drink at a local pub when I received a text from my friend; just casual chit chat, “how are you?/what are you up to?”. He’s my friend, Mom knows him, so I told him that Mom and I were out for a drink, and if he was out and about he was more than welcome to join us… He showed up…
“There’s an elephant in the room”, my mother announced, “I want to talk to the two of you”… Thinking maybe a joke or amusing anecdote was coming, he and I glanced at eachother and smirked, “ok Mom, go ahead”…..

The sip of wine I just took almost escaped my mouth with a sputter/choke when my mother spoke next, and for a split moment I think I contemplated crawling under the table to hide, but just sat in shock… I’m pretty sure my mouth may have been open, searching for words, like a gasping cod fish (I hope this imagery suffices in relaying my shock to you)… “My daughter is in love with you… I know her and I know how she is around you…It’s love…”

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!!!…. The best relationship I’ve ever had with a man, done, gone, finished….Months of awkwardness flashed in my minds’ eye.. He’d be cool and collected at first, saying he’d want to keep the friendship and my mother’s obviously false observation didn’t bother him in the least. But there would be that awkwardness that would be there, he’d wonder if what she said were true.. Our friendship would dwindle, we would talk and see eachother less…We would become a casual “hi how are you?” when running into eachother in passing…. Damn my mother and her assumptions, she killed my friendship with someone who I had so much in common with and enjoyed having in my life… **sigh** oh well… she didn’t mean to….

He had his eyebrows raised as I think he was in as much shock of the statement as I was.. “Um… ok?”…..He looked at me… At this point I was shaking my head and looking down at the table, still mourning the destruction of our friendship in my mind; when I finally found my words again, “Mom, I don’t think…”

“I’m not done..” she continued… No chance given to protest, or to salvage my awkward friendship, how rude! She interrupted me! “You’re in love with my daughter too.. I see how you two look at eachother, you both light up when in eachother’s presence…Now I don’t know what you two will do about this, but you should at least talk about it.. That’s all I’m going to say… Now there’s not an elephant in the room anymore and you two can quit tiptoeing around this”….

Well, that’s interesting.. I continued to gape at her….

Ah, good ol’ Mom… I see this, so now everyone has to see it, I think you’re bullshitting eachother, so knock it off….. Essentially…..

I think we brushed off the conversation and continued on with the evening… totally capable of changing topic with my known charm and wit of course… until he and I were able to talk after… away from Mom…

Needless to say, we talked about it… and I haven’t lost my best friend.. 🙂 

To whom it may concern…

Dearest Prince Charming,

 

I’ve chosen to address you in such a vague name, as your identity still eludes me as many have come in guise before you that have lead me to believe that you had been found.  But alas, you have either been detained by distraction or injury or perhaps worse….  I know that they say there is someone out there for everyone, but well, I’m almost sure that my someone has been hit by a bus.

 

Though if you are still out there, I have a few criteria to request of you… I’m not going to go through and outline all of the standard qualifications, I’m hoping that the gist of men out there understand the standards of honesty, respect, kindness, consideration, etc…..But there are some simple little asset qualifications that I miss of you in your absence:

 

Be there when I want to share something; that is something I want in life is someone to share things with.  If it’s a bad day, let me vent, you don’t have to fix whatever problem I may be having or even offer a solution, but just be there.  When I have good news I want to share it with you too, good things are part of life as well!  If I’m happy, excited or passionate about something, I’ve lately been rushing home to tell my cat, and while my Siamese purrs with delight and rubs his nose against me in humble agreement it’s not quite the returned response that I so desire.

 

Share your life with me.  Talk to me about it, whether mundane or exciting.  These relationship things are two way streets and I feel important if you wish to include me in things, even if it’s just information sharing.  As said above, bad news or good news, let’s share!  As a man, I know this isn’t in your realm of doing so uber openly, but I’m patient and you’ll learn; or I’ll learn how you do this in your own way.

 

Hold my hand.  I am an affectionate creature and sometimes I seem starved of this the most in my life.  If this request seems lame to you, then you are obviously not whom this letter is meant for.  But it’s such a simple response when you care about someone even a little bit.  Most times it’s done absently while watching a movie, walking down a street, or driving a car.  But that one little physical connection, where you need to be touching me just because we’re occupying the same space, makes a woman feel wanted, ya know?

 

Let me know that I’m being thought of.  I am not saying stay in constant communication with me when we’re not in the same location, and I don’t demand even anything daily, I know I’m not going to occupy your mind all of the time, there are other things in life.  I’ve spent a lot of my adult life alone in my romantic life, my expectations in this department aren’t over the top or unrealistic.  But you would be surprised what a random text of “hello gorgeous” or “I hope you’re having a good day” does; I’d know I was on your mind and you took the time (even just 30 seconds) to let me know.  Or even a quick phone chat, just to hear my voice.

 

Dance with me.  If you’re with me, I am going to ask you to do alot of seemingly stupid and funny little things throughout the years, and there are times that you’re going to humour me.  I really love music, it’s part of my life daily (I’m always humming or singing something, much to the annoyance of people around me at the office), and music can evoke some of the most intense emotion and associate alot of memories with it.  Now, I’m not going to ask you to do this often (unless you really like to), but every now and then just hold me close, stroke my back, and sway with me to some music; we can be in a pub, a bar, or even in my living room.  It doesn’t matter where we are, humour me please (my cat already thanks you for your consideration in this matter specifically, lol).

 

If these simple requests are within your realm of experience and qualification please feel free to implement them into practice if you so choose to make application for this position.  I look forward to hearing from you.  Applicants may be required to submit to a brief interview or testing by close family and/or friends.  It has been brought to my attention that my own prior applicant screening for final acceptance has not had a high success rate, so consultants may be involved.

 

Warmest Regards,

Waiting

Welcome to the jungle (dance club/meat market)

So, I always say I have to get out more and try to get one of those social life things…My very best, and closest friend came down a couple of weekends ago, it was fabulous, I hadn’t seen her in ages!  You know what else we hadn’t done in ages?  Went out dancing!  I love to go out dancing, and no, not for the drunken grinding on the dance floor with some stranger to try and find someone to go home with for the night.  I mean, going out, with some friends, maybe a drink or two, and moving with the music (by myself for the most part). —I am really hoping that my Prince Charming, when I find him, likes to dance on occasion, I do love to do so.

We went out dancing at a local club, and in truth I don’t think I’ve been out dancing in almost a year (time flies when life happens).  I tend to go out to pubs for live music these days, as opposed to a club.. Most pubs don’t have dance floors, I have been known to change that and make my own or just dance wherever I am when the music takes me (I’m fun like that).  Anyhow, we went to this club, which was reasonably crowded, with loud music and a good number of people on the dance floor.  My friend and I grabbed a couple of drinks and found a little corner of the dance floor to call our own.  We are totally comfortable with just eachother’s company and really didn’t have any intention of seeking out others.  Our “getting ready ritual” that evening totally reflected our comfort, as we pulled on jeans, a nice shirt, put on a bit of eyeliner and threw hair up in a messy bun (our “company seeking” primping ritual probably would’ve included hair curling, a dress, pumps, and perhaps the addition of eyeshadow and mascara).   

Although it has to be said, that when myself and this particular friend go out, we always attract the most interesting people, lol.  This evening was no different… We met a lovely lady that was there with a bunch of friends that didn’t like to dance, so she came over to us and inquired if she could join us.  My friend and I being a friendly sort, of course welcomed her.  We had a nice evening dancing with our new found friend.  But we also encountered a lot of men this evening…

I guess my point of today’s post is almost a sort of rant, I’ve set the picture of the type of evening my friend and I wanted.  We were content just dancing.  And, you know what, if new friends approached, we are friendly and would converse, have a drink, and have fun.   What I wasn’t prepared for, and moreso the point of my distaste; I don’t think I’ve ever been grabbed so much in my life!

If I go out and I see someone that I find attractive, and wish to strike up a conversation with; I will suavely go over (yes people still use the word suave, mainly me, although I wish it, I am anything but suave) and say “hello, how are you?” or “hi, would you like to dance?” (yes I do approach, I believe it totally ok for a woman to ask a man to dance).  What I do not do, is lean in to say hello to a guy and grab a handful of his arse…  When did this become socially acceptable?!  Am I at a loss for social etiquette in the single life these days, perhaps?  Or maybe it’s an age thing?  Nine times out of ten, I find the men (or women, yes I observed ladies using the same intro) that attempt this brazen gesture are usually of an under 30 years of age bracket. (–perhaps a future topic as I’ve had some great conversations recently with different generations etiquette, mannerisms, etc.).

Fortunately any men (yes, unfortunately plural) that attempted this gesture that evening, ceased doing so when they were advised that I did not enjoy it.  But I guess I’m just shocked that it was used by way of introduction.  I was out to have a good time, and did not have time to educate these lads on manners, sadly…

Prince Charming will address me as a lady, engage me in interesting conversation, not grab, poke, or prod as if they were testing the firmness of a piece of meat.  And though clubs are not ideal for chatting, you can dance with someone without grabbing at them, I’ve done it, it can happen 😉  Interest sparks, ask to talk to that person outside of the club environment sometime?  It’s cool to ask for a phone number, right?

End rant…  I guess I should thank the lads that attempted this, it probably shows their true intentions up front, then those of us on the receiving end of the grabbing can decide if that’s the type of interaction we’re looking for.

Still learning…..

My response to “What do women want?’ is the dumbest question a man could ever ask”

In Response to :

“What do women want?’ is the dumbest question a man could ever ask” a blog by Navigator1965 and Don Charisma”

http://doncharisma.org/2014/01/05/what-do-women-want-is-the-dumbest-question-a-man-could-ever-ask-navigator1965/

It’s said that great minds think alike and while I was inspired by an article I had read this morning entitled “What men REALLY want” and was working on an opinion piece on this, I then signed onto WordPress and read the wonderful and highly amusing above mentioned article by my dear friend, Navigator1965.  I had to drop all previous projects and respond to this forthwith.

I try to inject a little humour in my search or “wait” for Prince Charming, so please read my friend’s blog and then please accept my following response. Having a little fun here folks 🙂

What do women want?  Not necessarily a dumb question, but perhaps it should be followed with the assumption that neither men nor women are quite as forthcoming as either believe in portraying exactly what they want.  I hate to say it but we interpret things totally different, it’s anthropology, biology, and chemistry all rolled into one when it comes to the men vs. women workings.  Ever read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”?  Good read, even just for fun.  But I digress.

Prime example of different interpretation by the sexes, poor Navigator’s father, responding to his lovely wife’s complaints of having problems with their snow shovel.. Men see the problem and think of the most practical way of fixing said problem.  Hence the purchase of the new snow shovel as a Christmas gift for his wife.  Now, perhaps as a woman, if I were to say “honey, it’s really difficult shoveling that snow out there, especially with that shovel, I’m having problems with it”, that may be my way of saying “honey, could you please shovel that snow?”  This could be argued as manipulation, I would call it subtlety.  Though in my years and dealings with the opposite gender, I have learned that subtlety is perhaps a lost art on men, and you pretty much have to “hit them over the head with it” (and no, not hit them over the head with the shovel… but be blunt with what it is that you’re requesting).

My advice to men who have ever had to deal with “how do I look?” or “does this dress make me look fat?”, while I am of the mind, don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to; as a women I do require a little ego stroking every now and then, I want to feel good and admired… Do you want me to tell you that your driving skills make me worry for my welfare while in a vehicle with you?  Or that your home repair skills are relative to that of “Tim the Tool Man Taylor”?  No, men also want things that they pride themselves on acknowledged and appreciated.  Women want the same, those of us that put effort into our appearance.. Want to avoid these awkward questions after I’ve squeezed myself into something that probably fit more “comfortably” last year?; head my question off at the pass before I even ask it.. Men are logical and planning sorts, right?  Don’t BS me, by lying, I’ll see through that and question your sincerity. Compliment me so I don’t have to go fishing for it, because 9 times out of 10 that’s what we are looking for.  Though, there is a delicate balance, if I look absolutely atrocious, don’t let me leave the house.  If you feel your lady is of an insecure sort, but what she’s wearing is just not flattering at all, try something to the effect of “You know I’ve always loved you in… OR you look really sexy in… (insert desired, flattering clothing item here)”.  Women want to look good for their partners, we want you proud to have us on your arm.  And ladies, let him away with the suggestion if he avoids a direct yes or no answer to “does this make me look fat?”, we need to reward the poor buggers for the attempt at sensitivity in this area and not lying to us blatantly.

In regards to the toilet seat debate.  EVERYONE, put the bloody thing down!  Compromise, we’re both lifting something to use the facilities.  Fair is fair.  Men, you cannot gripe about lifting the seat, if it’s down, we have to lift the lid.  That one’s easy.

As for financial dedication and frugality.  I have no problem with Navigator’s suggestion of stop buying her flowers (I prefer chocolate or wine instead, myself).  Time should be spent together anyhow, that is much more valuable than the odd flowers; and let us also remember your penny pinching skills when that new gadget comes out, or the next action flick you have to have.  What’s good for the goose is good for the gander after all 😉  Though, the odd token of caring isn’t a bad thing, and will probably give you “husband/partner credit” next time there’s a desire to host a guy’s poker night, or sporting event watching (or you could just send me to the spa for a few hours, that would suffice, lol). Let’s face it, time together, valuable; partner credit for “you time”, priceless.

All in all, asking what women want isn’t a dumb question.. What may be dumb is the fact it’s never asked outright, and the reality being that we as women and men don’t assume we’re communicating something totally different while saying the same thing.  Sadly, folks we will never figure this out.

So men, go ahead as Navigator says, use reason and logic while trying to figure out what we want –but God forbid, do not ask….  And ladies, just hit him over the head with the shovel…. I meant, don’t be subtle. 🙂

~ Your Friend,  Waitingonprincecharming

Note:  As you’ve noticed friends, this is comedic and by no means advice.  Thank you for the humour and writing of my friend, Navigator1965, and hopefully his good nature in understanding my response, haha.