I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone that has young children before; most men that I’ve dealt with had children of a teenage or adult age if any at all. So having a young one around alot of the time, I have to say, is an exciting new experience.
Having always wanted children myself, I love having a 2 (soon to be 3) year old around. She’s fun to play with, read stories to, watch movies with, and I can’t even tell you what all “pretending games” we play (I’ve played numerous characters, explored many places, and eaten the most interesting things). Without going through pregnancy myself; I have still gotten to reap the benefits of a squealing child jumping with excitement to see me after having been away on a trip, the mimicking of my movements and mannerisms, the cuddling and falling asleep during movies, and the crawling into my arms only wanting to be comforted by me when hurt or scared. Life is blissful with a child in it, even though not my own.
Then there’s that…. She’s not mine….I treat her like my own, in that I love her, would give her anything she needs and her safety and wellbeing is my number one priority. But she’s not my own, and there’s a boundary that I try to work hard at as to not blur. I am not her father’s wife, I guess I would be just called the “girlfriend”; so I’m not sure that I’m exactly what you would call a “stepmother”, I really don’t know? All I can attest to being is someone else in her life that loves her.
Things like disciplining I hand over (gladly I might add, as she’s developing the wonderfully tyrant personality of a toddler only child) to her father; and also defer to him on most decisions that begin with her asking “can I have…”… Though being a wonderfully bright child, after hearing “no” from her father she most certainly will come to me in hopes of a different answering; which is the same as her father’s ———it’s best to relay this united front/parenting/whatever it is while she’s young, hopefully that sticks with her as she becomes older.
I am also very clear to maintain the not sleeping with me boundary. As a little girl that started off life with alot of attachment parenting values being used in her upbringing, she still co-sleeps at the moment. So at night, if I happen to spending the night at her father’s while she is there, she is in Daddy’s room and me, I’m in a spare room. Which I get, co-sleeping is to be with a parent, I am not her parent. Though it’s heartbreaking to tell a child “no” when they say goodnight to you and pout or cry “but can’t I sleep with you?” To avoid this though, I’m more often not there when there is overnights with the wee one.
I feel as if I’m fumbling through new territory, as I’ve never done (or had to do) any of this before. Each day with her is a new experience, which I absolutely love and adore, but am nervous at the same time! I hope I’m doing this right.
What are some others’ experiences out there? Stepmoms? Girlfriends? Loving and caring adult figures? I’d love to hear thoughts and opinions based on your experiences.
Hoping I’m the best that I can be for this little girl..
In my quest for Prince Charming I have encountered a few suitors that have had/have some mental health issues, so this topic is near and dear to me on many levels inclusive of a way I can tie it into this blog. I also have encountered some loved ones, friends, and co-workers that are suffering. These are normal, kind, and good people that through no fault of their own are struggling through a mental battle; whether it anxiety, depression, psychosomatics, psychosis etc. The list of mental health issues is long and perhaps, endless….
There is a stigma surrounding mental health that it’s not something we should talk about openly, or most people don’t want to “burden” others they care about with their problems. Mental health issues are not something that have to be endured alone, and if the issue is important or “big” to you, someone else cares too (my point is, an issue is never “too small” to bother with)… If you know someone who is suffering, reach out to them, let them know they’re not alone and get them in touch with professionals who may help them. If you yourself are suffering, reach out; we are past the times where you “just have to suck it up”, don’t suffer in silence.
If you’re reading this and residing in Canada, today is Bell’s Let’s Talk Day. Where Bell donates 5 cents to mental health initiatives for every text message or call made from Bell mobile customers, or for every tweet using #BellLetsTalk
Thank you for your time folks.
Please help and show support for a brilliant blogger who is the epitomy of “freedom of speech”.. Such a helpful and honest person… This news saddens me…
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO REBLOG THIS POST TO SHOW YOUR SOLIDARITY FOR A FRIEND AND FELLOW BLOGGER – JASON CUSHMAN.
It’s recently come to my attention then a friend and fellow blogger has been permanently BANNED from WordPress.com.
Jason Cushman’s blog HarsH ReaLiTy is going to be closed down shortly, which is a very sad end to an era of Jason doing so much for the WordPress community, and bringing NEW and PROGRESSIVE ideas into blogging. He is in blogging terms CHARISMA PERSONIFIED. Jason had this to say :
All blogging advice articles will be removed within 24 hours. The meet and greet threads will be removed by the end of next week. I appreciate everyone that has supported this website. –OM
Jason and I first came into contact when he invited me to join his “Project O”. I was pretty new to blogging at the time, and didn’t…
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I am very humbled that my own little blog has reached 100 followers!
Thank you everyone for your reading, your following, sharing, commenting, and just joining me on my journey for “Prince Charming”..
I hope that this coming year will hold some interesting topics and stories for us… I’ll try to get out there and interact more with the male species (maybe kiss a few more frogs or find my prince) and write some more opinion pieces on dating/relationship related topics (though if there’s anything in particular that any of you think would be interesting to read about, feel free to mention!)..
Thank you again…
This blog came to be after a particularly hard break up for me; someone offered me everything that I ever hoped for: a partner, support through the most difficult time of my life, promise of a family, and someone that wanted to look after me and allow me to look after him.. Then he promptly left to go “find himself”…I wonder if he ever did find himself? I haven’t heard from him ages.. Hopefully he found himself in like New Zealand or something… Just kidding, I digress, and I am by no means bitter about him… He truly didn’t know himself, and it’s true that you have to know and love yourself before you can love another.
But in someone leaving me to “find themselves” ( see previous blog here), I in turn took a very hard and long look at myself and all of the serious relationships that I’ve had in my life.. And maybe some not so serious relationships as well.. I’ve analyzed, I’ve discussed and I have gotten to become more self aware of not only others behaviour, but very much aware of my own behaviours and why I do the things that I do. I really think that this will really benefit Prince Charming when he arrives!
Well, my darling readers, it has been a year! A year of my ranting, of my rambling, of my whining, of my revelations, knowledge, jokes, quips, gripes, musings, expressions, and most of all… connecting with you guys.
It’s been a year, and well, I’m still on my journey folks… Writing about what makes me tick, what makes others tick, losing love, finding love; and all of the wonderful things that happen along the way. I thank you all for your feedback, yours likes, comments, and for just even reading. I love that I have been able to connect with and learn from so many people in this experience. Truly this blog just started off as something to amuse myself, much like a public journal/diary, and it has grown into a wonderful network.
I’m still learning, and I hope you continue with me for another year.
Again, thank you.
I know that you’ve all been waiting on baited breath for when I start writing in this thing again.. “Ooooo, has she found her prince charming?”; “has she been swept off of her feet by some dashing young man and been too busy being wooed to write on this thing?”; “has she gotten hit by a bus?”…
While one of the above three scenarios is more probable than the others, I assure you that I am alive and well.
I was just taking some time to reflect.. I’ve witnessed a lot going on around me recently, and wanted to put it into entries on here because it has dredged up a lot of feelings and thoughts about my own experiences.. I’ve also endured a birthday, the big 3-0; when you hit those milestones you evaluate life, yourself, and where you’re at and want to be.
So I have taken the hiatus to reflect and come up with more topics and thoughts for my wonderful readers.
I have returned.