Adjusting

Something about me, I’m extremely open and quite forthcoming with my emotions. So, when I have a partner, you can bet that people know that I am “taken”, “off the market”, “with someone”, etc. In fact, if I’m feeling pretty good about said relationship, I’m a shout it from the roof tops type of girl.. I’m in love, it’s wonderful, the world seems brighter, yay!

I’m finding an adjustment period though with my fella. We are transitioning from best friends to significant others (or do I call him my boyfriend? I’m over 30 now, do I have “boyfriends” at this age?). We already know most of eachother’s quirks and we still talk about everything, but I find our conversations (especially disagreements) have become more “passionate”.. Yes, passionate was his choice of wording one eve as I was exasperating him with a difference of opinion or interpretation of something. He’s so wonderful; he doesn’t say I’m a pain in the arse, I’m passionate! LOL But we communicate about EVERYTHING, and quite openly… I’ve always appreciated that about us. That transition is going wonderfully, I adore him…

Although, there is another adjustment that we are going through as well…. Slowly letting people know we are together.. Where I’m happy and feeling great about our blossoming relationship, there’s a slightly negative cloud hung over us. We are sort of soon after his previous relationship ending… There’s a perception by a few that him and I were carrying on before his previous relationship had ended (we were not)..In fact I’ve lost a few acquaintances over this. Though the people that really know me, are quite happy for me and know what did in fact happen (and not happen for that matter); I hate others having the perception that I would assist in the demise of a relationship, especially when there is a child involved (I don’t think I mentioned he has a wee one yet, have I?). But I have to remember: feelings were hurt, there was (is) pain and anger; and for those that don’t really know me, I suppose it’s easiest to think I had some involvement. It’s human nature….I hold no ill will towards anyone with this perception, nor am I aggressive or confrontational about it. It’s just unfortunate, all around…

So where there’s this new and wonderful relationship, I fear we are not able to enjoy it to it’s full potential… Yet…

There will be adjusting, not only for us, but for others as well. I know that all will be well in time; and I truly believe that something positive and great will come of this despite the negative light at first, we just seem to fit. But my mind wanders endlessly to everything the future will hold… Will his friends accept me (the ones that knew his ex)? Will his family like me? Will his ex and I eventually be able to talk? (I’m sure we eventually will have to cross paths, she’s the mother of his child, I would even say her and I were acquaintances before they split, I liked her – though at present moment we don’t talk – yes I get why)… These are the challenges we have, and things that I think about…

I guess we just move forward, and deal with what may come and try to focus on the good things. This will take strength from both of us.

Still learning…

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2 comments on “Adjusting

  1. BroadBlogs says:

    Congratulations! I guess the transition will seems strange since it’s happening in an unusual way, but I’ve heard that the best relationships are often friends who become lovers.

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