Welcome 2015

Happy New Year readers! I wish you all health, wealth and prosperity for this new year and hope that you all had a wonderful holiday season!
As you may guess, or may know from past experiences, or have even read on here from last year; the holidays can be a difficult time for some and where is should be a time for good things, it’s also a time that reminds some of what they don’t have.
Being divorced, 30, childless, and still very much grieving the loss of a parent; admittedly the holidays aren’t my favourite time. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful family and spent alot of time with them, and made some wonderful memories. But a large part of the Christmas excitement (for me) is children and gift opening and their smiles and excitement with all of the holiday hustle and bustle. My young cousins are getting older now, and where I still took joy in seeing them this Christmas, I have to confess, my own biological clock and maternal need is becoming more apparent (it’s probably uncool, as a 13 year old and a 10 year old to have a 30 year old woman fuss over you and try to be overly helpful/motherly).
Though, throughout the holidays, I spent alot of time with a dear friend whom has a young daughter that I adore; and much to my delight seems to adore me just as well. This time was a double edged sword; where I cherish it and took delight in a young one wanting me around, it also caused the ticking to become louder and more thinking about mortality and what legacy I am to leave behind. I find this a common thought pattern among women in similar position to mine.
Christmas did come and go, with wonderful meals and times with family and friends. There was much food, fun, laugher, drinks, and not too much dwelling (though teary moments did come when witness to some special father-daughter moments that reminded me of my own).
Then New Year’s Eve came; a time to close out a year, and focus on a new chapter of life in the coming new year. When midnight December 31 turns to January 1; it feels as if there’s a new start point, or a turn around point. There are many inspirational things on social media that portray, “goals”, “things to do different”, “how to be better” in the new year. My New Year’s Eve was spent in the company of someone special to me; where there was just dinner had and then a relaxing eve of television watching, very simple and uneventful. No partying (I think we may have even dozed off before midnight – but don’t tell anyone I’m that exciting lol), no (like one drink) drinking, no entertaining; just two people enjoying eachother’s company. On new year’s day, a friend of mine asked me how my eve was to which I responded “amazing, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so sure that I was exactly where I needed to be”….I’ve never felt that in my life, and shocked myself with this automatic use of the word “amazing”, not much has been “amazing” for me in quite sometime. Perhaps I needed the simplicity of that evening?
So I wish each and every one of you a wonderful, brand new 2015.. Full of new starts and better things than 2014.. I have a very good feeling about this one. Perhaps 2015 is the year of Prince Charming?
A girl can dream 😉
Still learning….

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