In Response to :
“What do women want?’ is the dumbest question a man could ever ask” a blog by Navigator1965 and Don Charisma”
It’s said that great minds think alike and while I was inspired by an article I had read this morning entitled “What men REALLY want” and was working on an opinion piece on this, I then signed onto WordPress and read the wonderful and highly amusing above mentioned article by my dear friend, Navigator1965. I had to drop all previous projects and respond to this forthwith.
I try to inject a little humour in my search or “wait” for Prince Charming, so please read my friend’s blog and then please accept my following response. Having a little fun here folks 🙂
What do women want? Not necessarily a dumb question, but perhaps it should be followed with the assumption that neither men nor women are quite as forthcoming as either believe in portraying exactly what they want. I hate to say it but we interpret things totally different, it’s anthropology, biology, and chemistry all rolled into one when it comes to the men vs. women workings. Ever read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”? Good read, even just for fun. But I digress.
Prime example of different interpretation by the sexes, poor Navigator’s father, responding to his lovely wife’s complaints of having problems with their snow shovel.. Men see the problem and think of the most practical way of fixing said problem. Hence the purchase of the new snow shovel as a Christmas gift for his wife. Now, perhaps as a woman, if I were to say “honey, it’s really difficult shoveling that snow out there, especially with that shovel, I’m having problems with it”, that may be my way of saying “honey, could you please shovel that snow?” This could be argued as manipulation, I would call it subtlety. Though in my years and dealings with the opposite gender, I have learned that subtlety is perhaps a lost art on men, and you pretty much have to “hit them over the head with it” (and no, not hit them over the head with the shovel… but be blunt with what it is that you’re requesting).
My advice to men who have ever had to deal with “how do I look?” or “does this dress make me look fat?”, while I am of the mind, don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to; as a women I do require a little ego stroking every now and then, I want to feel good and admired… Do you want me to tell you that your driving skills make me worry for my welfare while in a vehicle with you? Or that your home repair skills are relative to that of “Tim the Tool Man Taylor”? No, men also want things that they pride themselves on acknowledged and appreciated. Women want the same, those of us that put effort into our appearance.. Want to avoid these awkward questions after I’ve squeezed myself into something that probably fit more “comfortably” last year?; head my question off at the pass before I even ask it.. Men are logical and planning sorts, right? Don’t BS me, by lying, I’ll see through that and question your sincerity. Compliment me so I don’t have to go fishing for it, because 9 times out of 10 that’s what we are looking for. Though, there is a delicate balance, if I look absolutely atrocious, don’t let me leave the house. If you feel your lady is of an insecure sort, but what she’s wearing is just not flattering at all, try something to the effect of “You know I’ve always loved you in… OR you look really sexy in… (insert desired, flattering clothing item here)”. Women want to look good for their partners, we want you proud to have us on your arm. And ladies, let him away with the suggestion if he avoids a direct yes or no answer to “does this make me look fat?”, we need to reward the poor buggers for the attempt at sensitivity in this area and not lying to us blatantly.
In regards to the toilet seat debate. EVERYONE, put the bloody thing down! Compromise, we’re both lifting something to use the facilities. Fair is fair. Men, you cannot gripe about lifting the seat, if it’s down, we have to lift the lid. That one’s easy.
As for financial dedication and frugality. I have no problem with Navigator’s suggestion of stop buying her flowers (I prefer chocolate or wine instead, myself). Time should be spent together anyhow, that is much more valuable than the odd flowers; and let us also remember your penny pinching skills when that new gadget comes out, or the next action flick you have to have. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander after all 😉 Though, the odd token of caring isn’t a bad thing, and will probably give you “husband/partner credit” next time there’s a desire to host a guy’s poker night, or sporting event watching (or you could just send me to the spa for a few hours, that would suffice, lol). Let’s face it, time together, valuable; partner credit for “you time”, priceless.
All in all, asking what women want isn’t a dumb question.. What may be dumb is the fact it’s never asked outright, and the reality being that we as women and men don’t assume we’re communicating something totally different while saying the same thing. Sadly, folks we will never figure this out.
So men, go ahead as Navigator says, use reason and logic while trying to figure out what we want –but God forbid, do not ask…. And ladies, just hit him over the head with the shovel…. I meant, don’t be subtle. 🙂
~ Your Friend, Waitingonprincecharming
Note: As you’ve noticed friends, this is comedic and by no means advice. Thank you for the humour and writing of my friend, Navigator1965, and hopefully his good nature in understanding my response, haha.