Found love by way of lost love

Everyone in ours lives happen for a reason… I truly enjoyed reading this post and a lot of it really touched base with me.. I wanted to share it with others I thought may appreciate it’s message. Well written and honest.

less talking, more writing.

Not every person that you are drawn to is meant to stay in your life. Some people are brought into your life to open up your mind and heart to other parts of life and to…other people. Some will even cause you to edit your heart a little more.

The buddhist belief is that we should never fully attach ourselves to anything, a moment, a thought or even a person. The thinking is that every moment is fleeting, moving past us, moving through us. If we attach ourselves to a moment or the person too wholly we set ourselves up for disappointment and “loss”. If we let the sad moments of our lives swallow us whole, we miss out on the next happy moment. The idea is to stand back a bit and just let life sort of move through you without the extreme highs and lows, to appreciate both…

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Welcome to the jungle (dance club/meat market)

So, I always say I have to get out more and try to get one of those social life things…My very best, and closest friend came down a couple of weekends ago, it was fabulous, I hadn’t seen her in ages!  You know what else we hadn’t done in ages?  Went out dancing!  I love to go out dancing, and no, not for the drunken grinding on the dance floor with some stranger to try and find someone to go home with for the night.  I mean, going out, with some friends, maybe a drink or two, and moving with the music (by myself for the most part). —I am really hoping that my Prince Charming, when I find him, likes to dance on occasion, I do love to do so.

We went out dancing at a local club, and in truth I don’t think I’ve been out dancing in almost a year (time flies when life happens).  I tend to go out to pubs for live music these days, as opposed to a club.. Most pubs don’t have dance floors, I have been known to change that and make my own or just dance wherever I am when the music takes me (I’m fun like that).  Anyhow, we went to this club, which was reasonably crowded, with loud music and a good number of people on the dance floor.  My friend and I grabbed a couple of drinks and found a little corner of the dance floor to call our own.  We are totally comfortable with just eachother’s company and really didn’t have any intention of seeking out others.  Our “getting ready ritual” that evening totally reflected our comfort, as we pulled on jeans, a nice shirt, put on a bit of eyeliner and threw hair up in a messy bun (our “company seeking” primping ritual probably would’ve included hair curling, a dress, pumps, and perhaps the addition of eyeshadow and mascara).   

Although it has to be said, that when myself and this particular friend go out, we always attract the most interesting people, lol.  This evening was no different… We met a lovely lady that was there with a bunch of friends that didn’t like to dance, so she came over to us and inquired if she could join us.  My friend and I being a friendly sort, of course welcomed her.  We had a nice evening dancing with our new found friend.  But we also encountered a lot of men this evening…

I guess my point of today’s post is almost a sort of rant, I’ve set the picture of the type of evening my friend and I wanted.  We were content just dancing.  And, you know what, if new friends approached, we are friendly and would converse, have a drink, and have fun.   What I wasn’t prepared for, and moreso the point of my distaste; I don’t think I’ve ever been grabbed so much in my life!

If I go out and I see someone that I find attractive, and wish to strike up a conversation with; I will suavely go over (yes people still use the word suave, mainly me, although I wish it, I am anything but suave) and say “hello, how are you?” or “hi, would you like to dance?” (yes I do approach, I believe it totally ok for a woman to ask a man to dance).  What I do not do, is lean in to say hello to a guy and grab a handful of his arse…  When did this become socially acceptable?!  Am I at a loss for social etiquette in the single life these days, perhaps?  Or maybe it’s an age thing?  Nine times out of ten, I find the men (or women, yes I observed ladies using the same intro) that attempt this brazen gesture are usually of an under 30 years of age bracket. (–perhaps a future topic as I’ve had some great conversations recently with different generations etiquette, mannerisms, etc.).

Fortunately any men (yes, unfortunately plural) that attempted this gesture that evening, ceased doing so when they were advised that I did not enjoy it.  But I guess I’m just shocked that it was used by way of introduction.  I was out to have a good time, and did not have time to educate these lads on manners, sadly…

Prince Charming will address me as a lady, engage me in interesting conversation, not grab, poke, or prod as if they were testing the firmness of a piece of meat.  And though clubs are not ideal for chatting, you can dance with someone without grabbing at them, I’ve done it, it can happen 😉  Interest sparks, ask to talk to that person outside of the club environment sometime?  It’s cool to ask for a phone number, right?

End rant…  I guess I should thank the lads that attempted this, it probably shows their true intentions up front, then those of us on the receiving end of the grabbing can decide if that’s the type of interaction we’re looking for.

Still learning…..

My response to “What do women want?’ is the dumbest question a man could ever ask”

In Response to :

“What do women want?’ is the dumbest question a man could ever ask” a blog by Navigator1965 and Don Charisma”

It’s said that great minds think alike and while I was inspired by an article I had read this morning entitled “What men REALLY want” and was working on an opinion piece on this, I then signed onto WordPress and read the wonderful and highly amusing above mentioned article by my dear friend, Navigator1965.  I had to drop all previous projects and respond to this forthwith.

I try to inject a little humour in my search or “wait” for Prince Charming, so please read my friend’s blog and then please accept my following response. Having a little fun here folks 🙂

What do women want?  Not necessarily a dumb question, but perhaps it should be followed with the assumption that neither men nor women are quite as forthcoming as either believe in portraying exactly what they want.  I hate to say it but we interpret things totally different, it’s anthropology, biology, and chemistry all rolled into one when it comes to the men vs. women workings.  Ever read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”?  Good read, even just for fun.  But I digress.

Prime example of different interpretation by the sexes, poor Navigator’s father, responding to his lovely wife’s complaints of having problems with their snow shovel.. Men see the problem and think of the most practical way of fixing said problem.  Hence the purchase of the new snow shovel as a Christmas gift for his wife.  Now, perhaps as a woman, if I were to say “honey, it’s really difficult shoveling that snow out there, especially with that shovel, I’m having problems with it”, that may be my way of saying “honey, could you please shovel that snow?”  This could be argued as manipulation, I would call it subtlety.  Though in my years and dealings with the opposite gender, I have learned that subtlety is perhaps a lost art on men, and you pretty much have to “hit them over the head with it” (and no, not hit them over the head with the shovel… but be blunt with what it is that you’re requesting).

My advice to men who have ever had to deal with “how do I look?” or “does this dress make me look fat?”, while I am of the mind, don’t ask a question you don’t want the answer to; as a women I do require a little ego stroking every now and then, I want to feel good and admired… Do you want me to tell you that your driving skills make me worry for my welfare while in a vehicle with you?  Or that your home repair skills are relative to that of “Tim the Tool Man Taylor”?  No, men also want things that they pride themselves on acknowledged and appreciated.  Women want the same, those of us that put effort into our appearance.. Want to avoid these awkward questions after I’ve squeezed myself into something that probably fit more “comfortably” last year?; head my question off at the pass before I even ask it.. Men are logical and planning sorts, right?  Don’t BS me, by lying, I’ll see through that and question your sincerity. Compliment me so I don’t have to go fishing for it, because 9 times out of 10 that’s what we are looking for.  Though, there is a delicate balance, if I look absolutely atrocious, don’t let me leave the house.  If you feel your lady is of an insecure sort, but what she’s wearing is just not flattering at all, try something to the effect of “You know I’ve always loved you in… OR you look really sexy in… (insert desired, flattering clothing item here)”.  Women want to look good for their partners, we want you proud to have us on your arm.  And ladies, let him away with the suggestion if he avoids a direct yes or no answer to “does this make me look fat?”, we need to reward the poor buggers for the attempt at sensitivity in this area and not lying to us blatantly.

In regards to the toilet seat debate.  EVERYONE, put the bloody thing down!  Compromise, we’re both lifting something to use the facilities.  Fair is fair.  Men, you cannot gripe about lifting the seat, if it’s down, we have to lift the lid.  That one’s easy.

As for financial dedication and frugality.  I have no problem with Navigator’s suggestion of stop buying her flowers (I prefer chocolate or wine instead, myself).  Time should be spent together anyhow, that is much more valuable than the odd flowers; and let us also remember your penny pinching skills when that new gadget comes out, or the next action flick you have to have.  What’s good for the goose is good for the gander after all 😉  Though, the odd token of caring isn’t a bad thing, and will probably give you “husband/partner credit” next time there’s a desire to host a guy’s poker night, or sporting event watching (or you could just send me to the spa for a few hours, that would suffice, lol). Let’s face it, time together, valuable; partner credit for “you time”, priceless.

All in all, asking what women want isn’t a dumb question.. What may be dumb is the fact it’s never asked outright, and the reality being that we as women and men don’t assume we’re communicating something totally different while saying the same thing.  Sadly, folks we will never figure this out.

So men, go ahead as Navigator says, use reason and logic while trying to figure out what we want –but God forbid, do not ask….  And ladies, just hit him over the head with the shovel…. I meant, don’t be subtle. 🙂

~ Your Friend,  Waitingonprincecharming

Note:  As you’ve noticed friends, this is comedic and by no means advice.  Thank you for the humour and writing of my friend, Navigator1965, and hopefully his good nature in understanding my response, haha.

‘What do women want?’ is the dumbest question a man could ever ask – navigator1965

An amusing read by two very articulate men.. For fun I may have to write a response to this 😉

Don Charisma

This is cutting edge improvisational blogging.

We call it – “Whose Blog is it anyway ?”

We have written this for FUN, not serious, to amuse ourselves and our readers, and help promote our blogs. So please read with that in mind.

Me And Nav

Nav and I share a common ethos, neither of us suffer misandrists gladly.

Suz Jones was the catalyst that brought us finally together after his recent “Follow Blogger” submission on her blog. I hadn’t until that point realised that he was someone I wanted to get to know, or any common interest apart from both being men. After reading his about page, and empathising with what he’d been through, I decided to cultivate him as a friend. Indeed a good friend he has indeed turned out to be.

Nav is an accomplished wordsmith and currently working on a new fiction book that is an exposé of misandrists. At…

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A poem: Medieval Battle


An older poem that I wrote when my marriage ended…

The dragon has returned/ I pull my sword to fight/ The blade will not unsheath/ I try with all my might/ Defenseless I try to run/ Yet my feet only stand still/ The dragon smirks in triumph/ He knows I’m at his will/ My heart renders me useless/ Unable to return attack/ I think in mind he knows this/ But he fails to hold back/ Defeated I remove my breastplate and cast it to the ground/ The dragon turns away not wanting to finish the round/ I scream out in frustration “kill me, tis what you want!!”/ The dragon but still walking turns slightly to show taunt/ I crumple to the ground/ My sword can now unsheath/ I think now “until next time”/ But know I am niave/ Because I know that dragon/ Without his fire and bite/ Is someone who was special/ He used to be my knight..