A commonly used catch phrase now, right? Confidence, independence, assurance, all in three little words.. Sometimes used in arrogance. But an all encompassing, I can handle this.
I had a wise friend a long time ago ask me when they were trying to figure out why I was single “you don’t depend on anyone do you? do you ever think a man should do for you? take care of you?”.. To which I responded, “well, I take care of me”.. I never knew where he was going with that..I came back to him after thinking about it and said “I take care of me, and I would take care of him..I haven’t met anyone strong enough to give that up to yet”…. “I get it now”, he said.. “That’s what you’re missing”…
I reflect on this conversation every now and then, as it was a while ago. To love we have to be vulnerable in every sense I suppose. It’s an interesting concept. But at least it inspired a poem 🙂
“I got this” she said as the tears rolled down her face,
She had just told her husband he had to leave their place.
She knew what she had needed, and gave all she had to give,
He wasn’t her protector, it was no way to live.
“I got this” she said when she tried to love again,
A wounded man with no emotion didn’t help her pain.
Again not what she needed, it didn’t hurt this time,
Another story ended with no reason or no rhyme.
“I got this” she said when she tried to let him in,
He was playful, he was funny and he always wore a grin.
He made her laugh and tried to care, but she knew it couldn’t be,
He wasn’t hers for love and this she could really see.
“I got this” she said when she met a man,
She told him that she loved him and he never ran.
He made her feel safe, he tried to share and dream,
A man she thought to “have this” or only so it seems.
“He’s got this” she thought as she watched him sleep,
She smiled as she thought I’m his: to have, to hold, and keep.
She never thought it possible, she could let someone give,
Her protector she was looking for, now this is how to live.
“I got this” she said as she hung up her phone,
She wasn’t what he wanted, again she’s on her own.
She got angry that she let him see her in her weakened state,
After caring so long for others she thought him worth the wait.
“I got this” she inhaled as she looked up to sky,
Life has left her pained but she is too old for why.
She knows her wounds will heal and will rebuild her heart,
And someday give it to someone who will not tear apart.
“I got this” she said.