Where for art thou?

looking

This is one topic that I have discussed with many people.  Because everyone has a different opinion on where you go if you want to meet a good quality human being that could possibly be “the one”.  I’ve also heard that it’s relative, where you meet; I mean in relation to the quality of relationship you get.  I want to look at a few of these options that have been brought up to me.

I’ve attempted to meet Prince Charming in a few places and I really have no opinion of any one being better than the other.  I’ve ranged from the ever dreaded and frowned upon bar scene, to at work, to my cable guy (yes, I know that sounds like a bad porno movie, but my ex-husband just happened to be my cable guy), so I have in fact proved that you can meet a potential partner anywhere.

 

The Internet

While my luck with this particular avenue hasn’t been too wonderful (see Internet Dating vs. however else you do it), I haven’t discouraged or discounted it out yet.  Just recently I was speaking to a couple, who I had just met while taking in a music show by myself at a pub I don’t frequent (I’m friendly, I talk to anyone), they had met on an internet dating site, both were divorcees and he even moved up from the US to be with her!  They were happy and had been together for a few years already, married, and seemed genuinely good together (as far as impressions go).  I have also read a few recommendations from a deliberate attraction coach (yes, as said, I’ve read and delved into everything on this topic lately) about how the internet is a wonderful tool to get to know people, and as well be very specific about what it is that you want in a relationship right on your dating profile, and if people are honest hopefully this will weed out the unworthy.

 

The Bar/Pub

Well, I can honestly say I haven’t done this one too often and only once I’ve dated a bar “patron”.  You’re wondering what I mean by that aren’t you?  I’ve only once met someone at the bar that was a customer and out to be drinking and having a good time.  I tend to not talk to bar goers that are imbibing largely, so who are the more sober in the bar?  Usually bartenders, musicians, and DJs; so when I have met men at bars or pubs they usually fit into this category as they are usually the most sober.  In retrospect though, I guess these men have to talk to me as part of their job?  Haha, I have thought of it that way though, but doesn’t mean they have to keep talking to me.. Though, it is much easier to engage conversation from someone that has to talk to people and socialize for a living, but I digress and don’t think this should be the dating criteria lol.  The only fellow bar goer I tried dating/relationship with was Mr. It’s Not You, It’s Me (see previous blog entry).  I’m going to say that my own track record for dates from meeting at the bar/pub has not been a successful one.  But a coworker always giggles to me that she met her husband at the bar of all places, and they’ve been married for 30+ years, so apparently it has worked.  I’m not thinking I should discredit this meeting place yet, but that’s assuming that I have a social life that gets me out to the bar or pub.  As I broached 30, I have to say that my sleep became more of a priority to me than staying up half the night at a bar or pub and then crawling into work the next morning.

 

Work

Ever hear the expression “don’t dip your pen in the company ink”?  I think that there is some validation in this point.  For the (very) few men that I have attempted to date from my working environments, I could say that it had the potential to go very wrong, very quickly.  I am fortunate to have dated adults when it comes to these circumstances, as I was still able to interact professionally with them after things didn’t work out romantically.  But I have observed other office romances that started hot and heavy and just peachy, until something went sour and then spilled into work. Think of it, something doesn’t work, hard feelings are had, and then you have to see that person EVERY SINGLE DAY.  Sure, when you’re in the honeymoon phase, seeing that special someone every waking minute can be a fantastic thing, but I’m thinking even that will get old and quick.  This is one place I will not tend to go looking, and admittedly the very few times it has happened is when I was working loads of hours and not having much time for a social life outside of work.  So, I guess one of the main steps on my list when I do wish to meet Prince Charming is obtaining one of those social life things  :-/

 

Utility/Services Workers That Come to Your Home

You’re thinking like the home shopping network right?  Cute guy, comes into your home, you’re in your PJs or comfy clothes, disheveled hair, no make up… Bow-chicka-bow-wow… No wait, that was porno, not home shopping… I’m just kidding! LOL But to continue on with that story, the guy installed my cable and then asked for my e-mail address.  Now, of all the places to meet people, in your very own home is super convenient.. As long as the service provider they work for does criminal background checks I suppose.. But I’m not sure I recommend meeting people via this avenue either.. Being the fella I met is now my ex-husband, this has kind of ruined that experience for me.  But hey, if you ever hear of a success story in this type of meeting, I’d be interested to know!

 

Grocery Store/Coffee Shop/Book Store

Funny enough, these are the most suggested places to me for meeting Prince Charming.  And I haven’t met a fella yet in any of these places.. I guess what I struggle with is how to “break the ice” in these environments.  Sauntering up to a guy in the produce section and asking him how firm the melons are today could just be asking for trouble (and definitely attracting the wrong kind of guy that I’d be wanting, I imagine!).  But when I’m in the grocery store, I’m on a mission, get it, get what I want, get out.  And really, that’s not the kind of dating experience I want anymore, haha.  But how am I going to take the time and exercise my wit and find intelligent conversation in the grocery store?  I think I’ll nix that one. 

Now, the coffee shop, more relaxed, perhaps more feasible.. Our eyes could meet across the room, noticing each other are alone, a smile or smirk could be exchanged, I could then get up to make my way to your table to say hello and strike up a conversation with you, and then as I’m making my way over whomever you were supposed to be meeting in the first place shows up and sits down… Probably your girlfriend or wife.  I’m not quite sure how this one could work, but maybe I won’t discredit it yet.  Just have to be careful and be prepared for the possibility of awkwardness.

The book store, well, I love the book store!  One of my favourite past times is to wander around the local Chapters with my Starbucks coffee in hand, and peruse the books that I wish to read, wish to buy and just catch my eye that I’ve never even heard of before.  Perhaps this could work for men too?  Should I have a strategy though? Like only look in certain sections?  Stay away from the Self Help section perhaps? I have enough problems of my own thank you, I don’t need to deal with his as well.. or on the flip side of the coin, he is looking to self improve; this book section is a double edged sword I’m thinking..Ok, how about Science Fiction section?  Guys like that, I like some. Not all sci-fi guys live in their parents’ basement, right?  Or, how about Romance? He could be looking for tips on how to be Prince Charming, right?  Or the Home Improvement/DIY section, I bet he’d be a handy Prince Charming if I found him there! Or he could just tinker with and/or break my stuff.  The book store would be so confusing, as to where to look for my prince.  And then, what do you say? “Um, read any good books lately?”..”Do you come here often?”.. I will have to think about this one.

 

Through Friends

Now, none of my friends have braved this one yet.  I think they’ve all observed my luck in dating over these past few years and do not want to shoulder any of the blame for future mishaps.  While there are a few friends that think they could do better than I have at choosing a potential mate up to this point in time, I do pity the man that runs into them; they will probably threaten the poor lad with an intensive questionnaire of their intentions, values, and wants followed by a psych evaluation (me thinks this may not be a bad idea? Lol).  Anyhow, as I’ve mentioned, I’m one of the few “singles” in my group(s) of friends, which makes it very challenging to meet men through my friends, as most couples only know other couples. I have yet to venture into meeting men through friends…Does it count if it’s a friend’s younger brother? (possible future blog topic perhaps, sounds interesting though doesn’t it? LOL)

 

Prince Charming may pop up anywhere and sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset for my happily ever after, and then I will promptly wake up and get ready for work 🙂  But all kidding aside, I’ll just keep my options open, shall I?  And not worry about where or when, but just keep that thought and put out that energy that I’m worth someone wonderful who wants to put just as much into a relationship as I do, I am deserving of love and great things…..

Still learning….

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9 comments on “Where for art thou?

  1. Another great blog! I had a laugh when you described that your friends would grill a potential someone because that would totally be me, too! I wouldn’t be comfortable setting people up unless I knew them, and their intentions, both very well.

  2. I’ll wave the commission on my cousin. The one with the eye in the middle of his forehead. Nice personality, though.

    Maybe. }:-)>

  3. Shelley says:

    I have had a pretty high success rate in my evaluations of past guys trying to court my bff….and I hate being right as it usually ends badly. I do have wonderful friends I would happily introduce you to but unfortunately that would mean moving you to poutineland so depends on how badly you want to meet a nice guy 🙂 meeting someone has always been a tricky business and you listed all the main ones but I think common hobbies or through social groups is the best way….or sometimes someone who is a friend can become more than that 😉

    • Well, as to moving and how badly I want to meet a nice guy… I don’t want someone badly enough to rearrange my life for; I really do believe that someone should be a compliment to life, not that someone is to make/change life for 🙂

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