Internet dating vs. however else you do it…

Society has become so rushed and desiring of convenience, that even something so simple as meeting someone has been given an electronic avenue.  I’ve tried it briefly, and albeit at a poor quality site, I found pros and cons about internet dating.

Pro:  You can have conversation and get to know people in a comfortable environment (wherever you choose to be) and perhaps converse enough that it’s less awkward upon finally meeting.  Or, even find out enough that you can determine it’s not worth you to be meeting.

Con:  I’m a big believer in body language, you can tell a lot about a person by their body language.  Plus you can also learn a lot through people’s initial response in a conversation.  Electronic communication (unless video), allows for thought to a response, this can be good or bad; good as in we can think about what we say to make a good impression, but it can also allow for thinking of what we think that other person wants to hear and not necessarily leading to an honest impression.

Pro:  Allows for convenience for those who have a busy schedule, and wish to invest time into dating sparingly or don’t have much time to allow.

Con:  If we really don’t have time to invest in looking for someone, are we going to have time to invest in an actual relationship when we do want to form one with someone we met.  Ask ourselves that when choosing this avenue.

Pro:  You can see a picture of someone.

Con:  The picture may not be them, or could be them….30 years ago.

I’ve met some interesting people through online.  It’s so funny what people can portray versus what they really are though.  I had an experience of meeting a young man (and by that I only mean a couple of years my junior), we chatted online for a couple of months and he seemed pretty nice and a little shy even.  So when the time came to meet in person, I was pretty confident in already knowing (somewhat) who this person was and what they were about.  Needless to say, this was an experience; we met at a local Tim Horton’s had a coffee and chatted, then we went for a little walk.  During our walk (in a well lit, public area) he offered to see me home, which was polite but I declined this offer on first meeting (safety first, I don’t quite know him yet, so he is not finding out where I live).  We parted ways, saying it was a pleasure to meet eachother, with a hug and a peck on the cheek (it was really quite cute as he still seemed a bit shy to come near me).  Upon returning home I started getting numerous texts from this guy, asking me why I didn’t invite him to home with me, didn’t I think he was attractive, and why didn’t I sleep with him? Ugh, talk about nut job.  I deleted his number and blocked his dating profile immediately….. But not before advising him how he should talk to a lady and that he needed a few lessons on the “art of wooing”.

Another experience I had during my online dating experience was bittersweet.  A very straightforward profile of a guy with lovely long, dark hair (I have to admit, guilty pleasure, I admire a man with better/longer hair than me), stating he was looking for Miss Right.  Again, chatted a couple of months, got to know eachother and arranged to meet.  I have to say it was probably one of the best first dates that I’ve ever had!  We met at the local mall and had coffee then walked around the mall.  During our mall excursion we played with light sabre swords in Toys R Us (this appealed to my inner Geek), did you know that store staff do not stop adults found sword fighting in the aisle?  Then upon passing a jewelry store, he smiles and grabs my hand and pulls me into the store directing me to the engagement rings “what do you like darling?” he asked with great lavish, a sales lady even came over to “help” us; you should’ve seen the look on her face when I announced it was our first date.  So here we are again, he was so playful and fun, this man-child could be my Prince Charming, right?  No noble steed, but his eyes glittered with a playful soul and he had lovely, long locks… After a couple more month the playful lad admits distance (about an hour or so) is too much for him and he’s not sure what kind of commitment he’s ready for.  But you know what?  The guy still remains a friend.  So perhaps not dating success, but I have a new, fun, and kind person in my life.

So, internet dating, I had success and well, not so much success.  I have heard some horror stories from others and I’m not quite sure I’d ever go back to using this avenue of dating.  But on the other hand, I know a lot of people that have had success with it as well.  I take an interest in human behaviour and body language, therefore I think initial meeting I would prefer in person and perhaps electronic avenues to keep in touch.  The first impression is the most honest in my opinion.

Still learning….

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